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Faking Martha » Housework » How to Fake a Clean House

How to Fake a Clean House

quotePeople dropping around in 10 minutes?  Try these simple tips for making your house seem cleaner than it really is.

(1) Only work on rooms that your guests will be in.. use the other rooms as space to “catch the chaos”.

(2)  How the house smells has a much impact on it’s air of cleanliness than you may imagine, so the first thing to do is get some air deodorizer or freshener spread liberally throughout the place.  Throw some strong bleach smelling cleaner (like domestos) around in the bathroom (in the toilet is perfect.. and don’t flush it down) if you think your friends might go in there.  Lemon scent has been shown to subliminally give the impression of cleanliness.

(3) Dim the lights and pull the curtains to hide dirty windows, and use scented candles if friends are dropping around in the evening.  If they are dropping in during the day, open all the windows as wide as you can.. bright light makes the house appear clean even when the room is dirty, and the glare will stop your guests being able to see the dust as easily.

(4) Don’t disturb the dust unless you can remove it all.  Nothing looks worse than dust tracks.

(5) Grab a laundry basket or garbage bag and clear everything off the floor.  Stash the basket or bag into a room that your friends won’t see.  Vacuum the heaviest use areas, such as the middle of the lounge room, the hall way, and the kitchen and bathroom floors.  (Vacuuming can be faster than sweeping.. spot wipe the hard floors only if there are really obvious spots there.)

(6) Clear everything off the couches and enough off the side tables so that your friends have somewhere to sit and somewhere to put their drinks.  Things can be quickly put into piles to create the illusion of more space/cleanliness.

(7) Throw all dirty dishes into the laundry or under the sink (or in the dishwasher if you have one) and wipe out the sink and benches.

(8) Pull the shower curtain across the shower to hide the dirty shower recess.  (Clutter can also be stashed in the shower if you don’t have anywhere else to put it!)  Close all the doors so that guests won’t catch glimpses of messy rooms.

window quote(8) That should do it, but if you have any more time, choose the one flat surface that your guests will have in their line of sight for most of their visit, and clear it off completely, you could also clear off the first flat surface they will see as they walk through the door.  Get these two done and the rest of the mess will kind of blend into the background, they will be facing you and concentrating on you more than the house once they are seated.

And don’t forget to have fun.. remember that those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter won’t mind.


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